A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess
what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.
*******************************************************************
Wife : Honey ..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour ..?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
*******************************************************************
2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari
nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha
hai ki Reliance mai Job.
*******************************************************************
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other
ensures U
Continue to do so.
*******************************************************************
How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo
ta ra ra.
*******************************************************************
Sardar to his friend "I kiss my Wife everyday before leaving for
Office, what about you?"
Friend : Me too, after you leave.
*******************************************************************
Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher
Studies
Yaar...!!!
*******************************************************************
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
*******************************************************************
Monday, January 8, 2007
Banta singh's letter to bill gates
Dear Mr Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****.
I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.
3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.
4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as i have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So i suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.
9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?
10. Hey, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad there is only one icon with 'MY Computer', where is remaining ?
11. Are to kamal hi aap bole raha hi ki 'MY Pictures' there is not even single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that.
12. There is 'Startup' when u will provide 'Enddown'.
13. is that 'NOTEPEN' available in system? As I find only 'NOTEPAD' , tell me fast as I lost me PEN.
14. there is 'Winzip' what about 'Lossopen'.
15. There is 'WIN AMP' what about 'Win VOLT ', 'WinRESISTANCE '.
16. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME'
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****.
I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.
3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.
4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as i have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So i suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.
9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?
10. Hey, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad there is only one icon with 'MY Computer', where is remaining ?
11. Are to kamal hi aap bole raha hi ki 'MY Pictures' there is not even single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that.
12. There is 'Startup' when u will provide 'Enddown'.
13. is that 'NOTEPEN' available in system? As I find only 'NOTEPAD' , tell me fast as I lost me PEN.
14. there is 'Winzip' what about 'Lossopen'.
15. There is 'WIN AMP' what about 'Win VOLT ', 'WinRESISTANCE '.
16. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME'
Pappu Pass Hogaya
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Sunday, January 7, 2007
Tamil Film Actors join B.E. Mechanical Engineering
The Actors in the classroom are 'Sullaan' Dhanush, 'Kuthu' Simbhu, 'Sivakasi' Vijay, 'Thirupathi' Ajith, 'Drouser' Raamarajan, 'Anniyan' Vikram, 'Thambi' Maadhavan, 'Ah Aah' S.J. Suryah as regular students. 'Viruthachalam' Vijayakaanth, 'Gilli' Prakashraj, 'RDX' Raghuvaran, 'Forward Block' Kaarthik, as Lateral entry students.
'Kaippulla' Vadivelu, 'Officer' Goundamani as lecturers.
'BABA' Rajini as Head of Mechanical Engg. Department (HOD).
In Classroom……….
Goundamani: Deey, inimey naan thaanda ungaluku class co-ordinator. Ella payalugalum olunga nadandhukkanum, illenaa pichu puduven pichi.
Dhanush: Aaama, Ivaru class co-ordinator aam. Urupta maadhiri thaan.
Goundamani: Deey, ennada monangura
Dhanush: Onnum illai sir.
Goundamani: Baduvaa enna pathi theriyumla…. Sa ri, inime intha classukku nee thaan REP. Purinjithaada vathikkuchi…
Dhanush: (In excited mood) Yeaaah, Divya! Divya!…..Divya! Divya!
Simbhu: Dey machi ennada Divya va koopudura, antha figure ECE Departmentda…
Dhanush: Vaenna en Divya va figure kigure nu sollatha. Naan pakrathuku thaan Sullan… Soodaaanenn……
(Song starting "Eh sullan, vaa sullan……". At the end of the song Vadivelu enters the class to handle 'THERMODYANMICS' Class)
Chorus: Good morning Sir.
Vadivelu: Good Morning. Iniki motha topic 'First law of Thermodynamics'. Eppa Prakashraaju enga first law sollu….
PrakashRaj: (Getting angry) Yeh, athellam nee yen kekura, thapu thapu thapu…..
Vadivelu: Dei thapa righta nu naan thaan da sollanum, naadhaari payaley. Unnayellaamm…. Nalla varuthu vayila….. Enpaa vijayi unakkavathu First law theriyumaa paa……
Vijay: Enugnaa.. nethu kaalaiyila motta maadiku first law padikalamnu ponengnaa… Anga pakathu veetu Jenni low hip la sari kettitu padichitirunthaa.. na… Aththa paathathume namkku tennssion ayiduchinaa… Udaney pakathulaye maravaa pooii….
Vadivelu: Deey, enna thithu
Vijay: Onnum illingnaa.. maravapoi booka vechitu.. en Jenni ya sight adikka aramichitenungnaa…
Vadivelu: Naan unaku annana… enda enda en usira edukurathukey ungala yellam pethupoturukkanagala…. Yenpa Kaarthiku onakkavathu theriyuma yaaa……
Kaarthik: Ah… athu…. Vanthu…. Naa.. naaan….enna…solren naa….
Vadivelu: Nipaattu nipaatu. Nee solrathukkulla class ye mudinjidum polirukku…
Kaarthik: Ah.. Athu.. athilla sirr. Naan… nethu.. padikalamnu book…a…a edhutha, phonela ennna kola panna poratha oru kolai mirattal. Nightu fulla phone vandhuttey irunthuchu sir. A…ath..athaan naan padikala…. Yaarukkum naa bayapada maaten… Meraturaanga…. Meralaporanga….
Vadivelu: Aahaa Aaramichttanyaaa…aaramichittanya…. Thambi raghuvaran neeya vathu sollupaa
Raghuvaran: Thermodyanamics paththillam enkitta kekaatha.. enaku therinjathellam entha building ku enthana kilo RDX vekkanum, Time-bomb epadi set pannanum. Athapp pathi kelu solren….
Vadivelu: Adapaavi payulagalaa.. kolagaara payalugalaa irrukkaangaley……. Ivingalutaa adaki vaasichaathan usiru vaala mudiyum….
Raghuvaran: Yeh! Wait thirumbavum ethaavathu question enta kaetta, intha collegela RDX vechu suthi 25 kilometeruku oru pullu kooda molakkama panniduven…
Vadivelu: (With fear) Nee ukkaaru raasa… Nee senjaalum seiva. Ah.. brrr….. pothumda ipppave kaana kettuthu.. class a mudichikkuvom. (Professor Vadivelu leaves the class with lot of Darrrr….)
Next Hour,
Professor Vadivelu complains about Final year Mechanical to the class co-ordinator Professor Goundamani. He comes to the classroom for the next hour to take 'AUTOMOBILE ENGINEERING' class, with anger in his eyes.
Goundamani: Yendaa Baduvaakalaaa…. Summa ve irukka mudiyaadhaa… adang gokkamakkka.. yaaruda avan collegukey bomb vekirathaa sonavan… yenthiridaaaa…..
Raghuvaran: (With great anger) Mr. Professor vaaartha vaartha overaa poituirukku, mariyaadhayaa pesunga, illenaaa ipavey unna theethuduven. (Showing his pistol)
Goundamani: (Pammukiraar) Anna, yenungnaa ennagnaa ithukku poi tension aguriinga… athu yaaru antha P***r Vadivelu Naayii, athu class eduthuthan neenga paas aaganumaa… naan podurenna ungaluku paasssu…. (Crying…) Ghhh neenga tension aahi enna mattum suttu raathiinganna..oo…. ok let me take the class….
Goundamani: IC Engine pathi sollungappaa… enpaa vijayakaanth nee sollu…
Vijayakaanth: Sir, IC Engine la motham 1498 spare parts irukku, athula cast ironla senjathu 938, High carbon steel la senjathu 212, Invar la senjathu 127, Bronze la senjathu 26, Copper senjathu la 143, MS la senjathu 52. Engine oru thadava start pannum pothu move aagura parts mattum 847, move aagatha parts 723, saththam podura parts 2012, saththam podaatha parts 215, standula bike a vechaa sarasariyaa thirudu pora parts mattum 618. Apadi paatha oru naalaki namma ThamilNaatula 50,21,348 spare parts thirudu poguthu…. Athu moolamaa nattuku aagura nashtamm….(He works out his calculator to find the answer)
Goundamani: Yeppa yeppa pothum paa…. Enaku olagamey suthuthudaa saamy…..
Vijayakaanth: Athilla sir, Pakistaan theeviravaathingala kashmirla pidikka porappo, namma aarmyoda vandi adikadi makkar pannuthaam. Avangala 'Madurai Motors' la vandi vaanga sollunga appathaan namma naadu vallarasaagum.
Goundamani: Sarri paa apadiye sollirallam. Raja nee ukkaru paa…..Thambi Madhava endhiri paa…
Madhavan: (Standing) Ippa naan enna seyya…., (Screaming louder) Ippo naan enna seyyyya…..
Goundamani: Dey iruda. Overaa sound viduriye… enaku questioney marandhu pochchu…. Sarrri 'Clutch' pathi sollu…
Madhavan: Athaavathu sir, naan clutch pathi padikkala….., paas aavennu nenaikkala……, aana arrear vilunthudumonnu bayammaa irukku…. Yosichu sollunga….
Goundamani: Ithulla enada chellam yosikka vendiyathu irukku…. Sathiyama nee theyrave maatey…. Ah next qostinnn 'Petrol Enginela Carburretor irruka illayaa'… come on tell me… tell yaa…..SJ Suryah get up yaa….
SJ Suryah : (Singing) Ah intha poonai theriyumaa… ah intha poonai theriyumaa….
Goundamani: Deeeey niruthu, niruthu….. Naan enna qostinn kaeten…. nee enna panra, Intha Dakkalti velayellam namma kitta venandii …… olunga ketathukku mattum bathil sollu…comeon stand.up maan… stand up.
SJ Suryah : Ok sir, nalla kettukkonga. Petrol enginla Carburretor 'irukku aana illa' sir.
Goundamani: Come on repeat the answer
SJ Suryah : Irukku aana illa, Sir
Goundamani: (Annoyed by the answer) ugh… yen iththana varusha professor vaalkaiyila ippadi oru answer naa ketatheilla. Naan onna endhirikka sonnathey thappu. Sit down.
The bell rings. All the students assemble in the class after the morning break. Professor Vadivelu enter the class room for the third hour to take 'CAD/CAM' class.
Vadivelu: (With lot of fear entering the class. But acts as abrave fellow) Mmmm…. Intha professor kaippulla oru karunchiriththai…. Enna yaarum onnum panna mudiyaathu…..CAD naa enna….. aiyya raamaraasu nee sollu..
Raamarajan: Annay enkitta aata pathi kelunga… maata pathi kelunga…. Aana ennamo CAD nu solringa onnum ennaku puriyala…
Vadivelu: Athu serri, dowser potta payala ellam engineering collegla sehthaa… ithaanda nelama…
By then the song begins "Thirupathi vanthaa thiruppom…….." and Ajith enters the class as a late comer.
Vadivelu: Vaapa ajiththu, ithu thaan collegukku vara neramaaa….
Ajith: Yeh…. yeh….naa paathu paathu….valantha veetu maram illa…..paakama valantha kaatu maram……athanaala apadi thaan varuven.
Vadivelu: Ennada….sambandhameyy…… illama pesuraaney …yaaa…
Ajith: Sir, intha thirupathi yerangi poravan illa… yeri poravann…
Vadivelu: Enga yeruna?…..Enga yeranguna….?
Ajith: Naan thani aalilla. Intha collegil ulla arrearsgalin aathma
Vadivelu: Aahaaa…. Saachiputtan yaaa…
Ajith: Aththu……….
Vadivelu: Intha class laye amaithiya irukura ore jeevan neethaan ya…. Eppaa…ambiii…vikramu…neeyavathu qostinnukku answer sollu…
Vikram: (As Ambi) Enna sir. Kooptell laa… Students a question kekurathu satta padi thappu… according to IPC 56564, 6 maasam jail illana 200 rooba fine kattiye aaganum… naa case poduven.
Vadivelu: Aaaththi….. ivan enna case keesungaran.. Ippo ennapa thappa ketuten…
Vikram: (As Remo) Hey dude! Are u crazy, CAD pathi kekkurathellam sema bore, ask about Naandi…… Intha neram naa canteenla irunthaaa… I wud hav done some yoyo with my Naandi maaan….you brutt…R..E..M..O
Vadivelu: (With angry and frustration) Enna thithu chinnapulla thanamaa irukku….rascalll…
Vikram: (Turning into Anniyan) Yeeeeh Professor, Ambi ya ethukku noi, noi nu thontharavu panra…… namma collegla irukkura miga pp periya problem question kekurathu….. canteenuku poanaaa question…. Hall ticket vaanganumnaa question…., workshop poanaaa question….., lobby la ninnaa question……,campus interview attend panna question….., Ippadi enga ponallum question kettu studentsa koduma pannuravungaluku…..ennoda gurudapuranam padi….thandana ennatheriyumaaaa……'Kambilakummbo' athaavathu nalla kaachuna kambiya oru kaadhula vittu innoru kaadhu valliya edukurathu….. ippo athu thaan naan unakku seiya pp poren..(Singing) sarva dharmaaan pari….(Turning violent)
Vadivelu: (Crying with fear) Amma ammma amma ammmma………..(Rushing out of the class towards staff room)
Due to the actors' violent behaviour Prof. Vadivelu and Prof.Goundamani brings HOD Rajini to the class. Rajini gets down from his 'pulithol' and enters the class. The song starts "Yeekkaaameeevaaa dviththiiiyammmm………"
Chorus: Good morning sir.
Rajini: Good morning. Kanna onnu solren nalla kettukko "Kaasu pudungura collegum, proffessora kalaaikira studentsum nalla iruntha thaa sarithiramey illlai…..
Dhanush: Appo boogolam irukuthaa maama…..
Rajini: Maama keema sollaatha….apuram Koma la padukka vachchiduven.
Simbhu: Sir. Intha class la sariyaana technicians….. I mean staffs illathanaala…..engalla la sariya concentrate panna mudiyalla… innum indha class rooma richa arrange panni….front la YanaGupta, MandhiraBedi posters ottina thaan sir…..oru kickaa… irukkum. Ithellam illaatha naala than naanga saththam podurom.
Rajini: Ippo solren….Inime intha class la irunthu saththam vanthaa….unga class a naan Imayamalaikku maathiduvennn…..
Vijay: Enungnaa… imayamalai rommba kulirume nnaaa…..
Rajini: Anna Kinna sollathey, apurom un moonji kanna pinna nu veengidum…..Ippo solratha ellarum nalla ketukkonga….. "Naama virumbura professor class edukiratha vida….., namala virumbura professor class edutha thaan subjectla pass aaga mudiyum"
Students and Professors: (In confused mind) Enna solrraarunu onnume puriyallayepppa…….
Rajini disappears into the black-board as a 'OLI'
(To be continued…..)
'Kaippulla' Vadivelu, 'Officer' Goundamani as lecturers.
'BABA' Rajini as Head of Mechanical Engg. Department (HOD).
In Classroom……….
Goundamani: Deey, inimey naan thaanda ungaluku class co-ordinator. Ella payalugalum olunga nadandhukkanum, illenaa pichu puduven pichi.
Dhanush: Aaama, Ivaru class co-ordinator aam. Urupta maadhiri thaan.
Goundamani: Deey, ennada monangura
Dhanush: Onnum illai sir.
Goundamani: Baduvaa enna pathi theriyumla…. Sa ri, inime intha classukku nee thaan REP. Purinjithaada vathikkuchi…
Dhanush: (In excited mood) Yeaaah, Divya! Divya!…..Divya! Divya!
Simbhu: Dey machi ennada Divya va koopudura, antha figure ECE Departmentda…
Dhanush: Vaenna en Divya va figure kigure nu sollatha. Naan pakrathuku thaan Sullan… Soodaaanenn……
(Song starting "Eh sullan, vaa sullan……". At the end of the song Vadivelu enters the class to handle 'THERMODYANMICS' Class)
Chorus: Good morning Sir.
Vadivelu: Good Morning. Iniki motha topic 'First law of Thermodynamics'. Eppa Prakashraaju enga first law sollu….
PrakashRaj: (Getting angry) Yeh, athellam nee yen kekura, thapu thapu thapu…..
Vadivelu: Dei thapa righta nu naan thaan da sollanum, naadhaari payaley. Unnayellaamm…. Nalla varuthu vayila….. Enpaa vijayi unakkavathu First law theriyumaa paa……
Vijay: Enugnaa.. nethu kaalaiyila motta maadiku first law padikalamnu ponengnaa… Anga pakathu veetu Jenni low hip la sari kettitu padichitirunthaa.. na… Aththa paathathume namkku tennssion ayiduchinaa… Udaney pakathulaye maravaa pooii….
Vadivelu: Deey, enna thithu
Vijay: Onnum illingnaa.. maravapoi booka vechitu.. en Jenni ya sight adikka aramichitenungnaa…
Vadivelu: Naan unaku annana… enda enda en usira edukurathukey ungala yellam pethupoturukkanagala…. Yenpa Kaarthiku onakkavathu theriyuma yaaa……
Kaarthik: Ah… athu…. Vanthu…. Naa.. naaan….enna…solren naa….
Vadivelu: Nipaattu nipaatu. Nee solrathukkulla class ye mudinjidum polirukku…
Kaarthik: Ah.. Athu.. athilla sirr. Naan… nethu.. padikalamnu book…a…a edhutha, phonela ennna kola panna poratha oru kolai mirattal. Nightu fulla phone vandhuttey irunthuchu sir. A…ath..athaan naan padikala…. Yaarukkum naa bayapada maaten… Meraturaanga…. Meralaporanga….
Vadivelu: Aahaa Aaramichttanyaaa…aaramichittanya…. Thambi raghuvaran neeya vathu sollupaa
Raghuvaran: Thermodyanamics paththillam enkitta kekaatha.. enaku therinjathellam entha building ku enthana kilo RDX vekkanum, Time-bomb epadi set pannanum. Athapp pathi kelu solren….
Vadivelu: Adapaavi payulagalaa.. kolagaara payalugalaa irrukkaangaley……. Ivingalutaa adaki vaasichaathan usiru vaala mudiyum….
Raghuvaran: Yeh! Wait thirumbavum ethaavathu question enta kaetta, intha collegela RDX vechu suthi 25 kilometeruku oru pullu kooda molakkama panniduven…
Vadivelu: (With fear) Nee ukkaaru raasa… Nee senjaalum seiva. Ah.. brrr….. pothumda ipppave kaana kettuthu.. class a mudichikkuvom. (Professor Vadivelu leaves the class with lot of Darrrr….)
Next Hour,
Professor Vadivelu complains about Final year Mechanical to the class co-ordinator Professor Goundamani. He comes to the classroom for the next hour to take 'AUTOMOBILE ENGINEERING' class, with anger in his eyes.
Goundamani: Yendaa Baduvaakalaaa…. Summa ve irukka mudiyaadhaa… adang gokkamakkka.. yaaruda avan collegukey bomb vekirathaa sonavan… yenthiridaaaa…..
Raghuvaran: (With great anger) Mr. Professor vaaartha vaartha overaa poituirukku, mariyaadhayaa pesunga, illenaaa ipavey unna theethuduven. (Showing his pistol)
Goundamani: (Pammukiraar) Anna, yenungnaa ennagnaa ithukku poi tension aguriinga… athu yaaru antha P***r Vadivelu Naayii, athu class eduthuthan neenga paas aaganumaa… naan podurenna ungaluku paasssu…. (Crying…) Ghhh neenga tension aahi enna mattum suttu raathiinganna..oo…. ok let me take the class….
Goundamani: IC Engine pathi sollungappaa… enpaa vijayakaanth nee sollu…
Vijayakaanth: Sir, IC Engine la motham 1498 spare parts irukku, athula cast ironla senjathu 938, High carbon steel la senjathu 212, Invar la senjathu 127, Bronze la senjathu 26, Copper senjathu la 143, MS la senjathu 52. Engine oru thadava start pannum pothu move aagura parts mattum 847, move aagatha parts 723, saththam podura parts 2012, saththam podaatha parts 215, standula bike a vechaa sarasariyaa thirudu pora parts mattum 618. Apadi paatha oru naalaki namma ThamilNaatula 50,21,348 spare parts thirudu poguthu…. Athu moolamaa nattuku aagura nashtamm….(He works out his calculator to find the answer)
Goundamani: Yeppa yeppa pothum paa…. Enaku olagamey suthuthudaa saamy…..
Vijayakaanth: Athilla sir, Pakistaan theeviravaathingala kashmirla pidikka porappo, namma aarmyoda vandi adikadi makkar pannuthaam. Avangala 'Madurai Motors' la vandi vaanga sollunga appathaan namma naadu vallarasaagum.
Goundamani: Sarri paa apadiye sollirallam. Raja nee ukkaru paa…..Thambi Madhava endhiri paa…
Madhavan: (Standing) Ippa naan enna seyya…., (Screaming louder) Ippo naan enna seyyyya…..
Goundamani: Dey iruda. Overaa sound viduriye… enaku questioney marandhu pochchu…. Sarrri 'Clutch' pathi sollu…
Madhavan: Athaavathu sir, naan clutch pathi padikkala….., paas aavennu nenaikkala……, aana arrear vilunthudumonnu bayammaa irukku…. Yosichu sollunga….
Goundamani: Ithulla enada chellam yosikka vendiyathu irukku…. Sathiyama nee theyrave maatey…. Ah next qostinnn 'Petrol Enginela Carburretor irruka illayaa'… come on tell me… tell yaa…..SJ Suryah get up yaa….
SJ Suryah : (Singing) Ah intha poonai theriyumaa… ah intha poonai theriyumaa….
Goundamani: Deeeey niruthu, niruthu….. Naan enna qostinn kaeten…. nee enna panra, Intha Dakkalti velayellam namma kitta venandii …… olunga ketathukku mattum bathil sollu…comeon stand.up maan… stand up.
SJ Suryah : Ok sir, nalla kettukkonga. Petrol enginla Carburretor 'irukku aana illa' sir.
Goundamani: Come on repeat the answer
SJ Suryah : Irukku aana illa, Sir
Goundamani: (Annoyed by the answer) ugh… yen iththana varusha professor vaalkaiyila ippadi oru answer naa ketatheilla. Naan onna endhirikka sonnathey thappu. Sit down.
The bell rings. All the students assemble in the class after the morning break. Professor Vadivelu enter the class room for the third hour to take 'CAD/CAM' class.
Vadivelu: (With lot of fear entering the class. But acts as abrave fellow) Mmmm…. Intha professor kaippulla oru karunchiriththai…. Enna yaarum onnum panna mudiyaathu…..CAD naa enna….. aiyya raamaraasu nee sollu..
Raamarajan: Annay enkitta aata pathi kelunga… maata pathi kelunga…. Aana ennamo CAD nu solringa onnum ennaku puriyala…
Vadivelu: Athu serri, dowser potta payala ellam engineering collegla sehthaa… ithaanda nelama…
By then the song begins "Thirupathi vanthaa thiruppom…….." and Ajith enters the class as a late comer.
Vadivelu: Vaapa ajiththu, ithu thaan collegukku vara neramaaa….
Ajith: Yeh…. yeh….naa paathu paathu….valantha veetu maram illa…..paakama valantha kaatu maram……athanaala apadi thaan varuven.
Vadivelu: Ennada….sambandhameyy…… illama pesuraaney …yaaa…
Ajith: Sir, intha thirupathi yerangi poravan illa… yeri poravann…
Vadivelu: Enga yeruna?…..Enga yeranguna….?
Ajith: Naan thani aalilla. Intha collegil ulla arrearsgalin aathma
Vadivelu: Aahaaa…. Saachiputtan yaaa…
Ajith: Aththu……….
Vadivelu: Intha class laye amaithiya irukura ore jeevan neethaan ya…. Eppaa…ambiii…vikramu…neeyavathu qostinnukku answer sollu…
Vikram: (As Ambi) Enna sir. Kooptell laa… Students a question kekurathu satta padi thappu… according to IPC 56564, 6 maasam jail illana 200 rooba fine kattiye aaganum… naa case poduven.
Vadivelu: Aaaththi….. ivan enna case keesungaran.. Ippo ennapa thappa ketuten…
Vikram: (As Remo) Hey dude! Are u crazy, CAD pathi kekkurathellam sema bore, ask about Naandi…… Intha neram naa canteenla irunthaaa… I wud hav done some yoyo with my Naandi maaan….you brutt…R..E..M..O
Vadivelu: (With angry and frustration) Enna thithu chinnapulla thanamaa irukku….rascalll…
Vikram: (Turning into Anniyan) Yeeeeh Professor, Ambi ya ethukku noi, noi nu thontharavu panra…… namma collegla irukkura miga pp periya problem question kekurathu….. canteenuku poanaaa question…. Hall ticket vaanganumnaa question…., workshop poanaaa question….., lobby la ninnaa question……,campus interview attend panna question….., Ippadi enga ponallum question kettu studentsa koduma pannuravungaluku…..ennoda gurudapuranam padi….thandana ennatheriyumaaaa……'Kambilakummbo' athaavathu nalla kaachuna kambiya oru kaadhula vittu innoru kaadhu valliya edukurathu….. ippo athu thaan naan unakku seiya pp poren..(Singing) sarva dharmaaan pari….(Turning violent)
Vadivelu: (Crying with fear) Amma ammma amma ammmma………..(Rushing out of the class towards staff room)
Due to the actors' violent behaviour Prof. Vadivelu and Prof.Goundamani brings HOD Rajini to the class. Rajini gets down from his 'pulithol' and enters the class. The song starts "Yeekkaaameeevaaa dviththiiiyammmm………"
Chorus: Good morning sir.
Rajini: Good morning. Kanna onnu solren nalla kettukko "Kaasu pudungura collegum, proffessora kalaaikira studentsum nalla iruntha thaa sarithiramey illlai…..
Dhanush: Appo boogolam irukuthaa maama…..
Rajini: Maama keema sollaatha….apuram Koma la padukka vachchiduven.
Simbhu: Sir. Intha class la sariyaana technicians….. I mean staffs illathanaala…..engalla la sariya concentrate panna mudiyalla… innum indha class rooma richa arrange panni….front la YanaGupta, MandhiraBedi posters ottina thaan sir…..oru kickaa… irukkum. Ithellam illaatha naala than naanga saththam podurom.
Rajini: Ippo solren….Inime intha class la irunthu saththam vanthaa….unga class a naan Imayamalaikku maathiduvennn…..
Vijay: Enungnaa… imayamalai rommba kulirume nnaaa…..
Rajini: Anna Kinna sollathey, apurom un moonji kanna pinna nu veengidum…..Ippo solratha ellarum nalla ketukkonga….. "Naama virumbura professor class edukiratha vida….., namala virumbura professor class edutha thaan subjectla pass aaga mudiyum"
Students and Professors: (In confused mind) Enna solrraarunu onnume puriyallayepppa…….
Rajini disappears into the black-board as a 'OLI'
(To be continued…..)
How Bosses view Men & Women @ Work
How the company views its employees. (HE vs SHE)
1. The family picture is on HIS desk.
Ah, a solid, responsible family man.
The family picture is on HER desk.
Umm, her family will come before her career.
2. HIS desk is cluttered.
He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.
HER desk is cluttered.
She's obviously a disorganised scatterbrain
3. HE is talking with his co-workers.
He must be discussing the latest deal
SHE is talking with her co-workers.
She must be gossiping.
4. HE's not at his desk. > > > > He must be at a meeting.
SHE's not at her desk. > > > > She must be in the ladies' room.
5. HE's not in the office. > > > > He's meeting with customers.
SHE's not in the office. > > > > She must be out shopping.
6. HE's having lunch with the boss. > > > > He's on his way up.
SHE's having lunch with the boss. > > > > They must be having an affair.
7. The boss criticised HIM.
He'll improve his performance.
The boss criticised HER.
She'll be very upset.
8. HE got an unfair deal.
Did he get angry?
SHE got an unfair deal.
Did she cry?
9. HE's getting married. > > > > He'll get more settled.
SHE's getting married. > > > > She'll get pregnant and leave.
10. HE's leaving for a better job.
He knows how to recognise a good opportunity.
11.SHE's leaving for a better job.
Women are not dependable.
1. The family picture is on HIS desk.
Ah, a solid, responsible family man.
The family picture is on HER desk.
Umm, her family will come before her career.
2. HIS desk is cluttered.
He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.
HER desk is cluttered.
She's obviously a disorganised scatterbrain
3. HE is talking with his co-workers.
He must be discussing the latest deal
SHE is talking with her co-workers.
She must be gossiping.
4. HE's not at his desk. > > > > He must be at a meeting.
SHE's not at her desk. > > > > She must be in the ladies' room.
5. HE's not in the office. > > > > He's meeting with customers.
SHE's not in the office. > > > > She must be out shopping.
6. HE's having lunch with the boss. > > > > He's on his way up.
SHE's having lunch with the boss. > > > > They must be having an affair.
7. The boss criticised HIM.
He'll improve his performance.
The boss criticised HER.
She'll be very upset.
8. HE got an unfair deal.
Did he get angry?
SHE got an unfair deal.
Did she cry?
9. HE's getting married. > > > > He'll get more settled.
SHE's getting married. > > > > She'll get pregnant and leave.
10. HE's leaving for a better job.
He knows how to recognise a good opportunity.
11.SHE's leaving for a better job.
Women are not dependable.
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